adventure diary

april 23rd 2025

another rough day. it started well, honoka came to class with me

i started to read another book (i have so many currently reading now) and its another thats pretty validating. it makes me want to pursue my dreams to be a researcher so i can advocate for what i wish was more understood, but i cannot exist in a world where my research could be used for harm

it got really bad quick. i cant remember if it was before or after this pic when i had a panic attack and blacked out a bit.

i left for home early once it did not calm. my entire body locked up and i couldnt breathe properly and everything hurt. it wouldnt end even after i got home, so i got high

first meal home was a premade potpie. vivian enjoyed it with me.

pancake came to give me some loving. fluffy baby

vivian joined the cuddle pile and watching videos too!

april 22nd 2025

wow, this day was hysterical. but you know who made it alright?

kimby!!!! he came to campus with me and kept me strong through the rough day. when i was freaking out holding in a meltdown in the bathroom, here was there comforting me. thank you kimby

april 21st 2025

today was kind of a mess. i was a mess. i socialized all of easter and pushed through 2 seperate panic situations, so i was already pretty run down when i woke up. i didnt give myself any grace.

but i ended up climbing out of the gunk! i did a coloring page to keep my hands busy and painted on myself, it was soothing!!

it doesnt feel like i really did a lot productive today due to sleeping through most of the day. i didnt do anything that like, looks like it was productive (like commissions, studying or cleaning) but i sat down and just let myself exist

me and bea implementing dbt skill we looked into today. funny thing is that this process of breaking down a situation is what we've kinda done through our nonguided journaling. but this is way more clear and accessible during the reflecting. doing things in steps really, really helps me. writing things down and seeing it in steps.

i dont know how to describe these clouds, but i love when its like this at night
- 🐇

april 19th 2025

started reading atomic habits by james clear! its a simple accessible read with practical advice and framing. happy that my brother lent it to me.

two caterpillars in da grass

april 18th 2025

silly day with the boyyyysss :3

i played with LPS and it was fun. recorded a little bit of it...man i need to do it more

april 15th 2025

it was a rough day mentally and we didnt have class. al sewed Kimberly a support vest because i keep looking at kids ESSA plushies on pinterest and i want our friends to have cute vests and gear for when we go on more journeys. there is a general health aid indictator and then a teal ribbon for our various difficulties

kimby is also able to hold our little flash/note cards ar1 made for us in hopes when we are home and kimby is near we remember to look at the cards during episodes. al will have to adjust this a bit but not right now