Content warning: Minor/Adult Grooming, Gaslighting, Bullying, slurs
THIS ONE HURTS TO READ SO BAD
Word Count 6,007
June 2004
After stopping by a hotel for a day, and a couple of restaurants to pig out in, Lucas and Cheren finally reached the streets of his neighborhood, which were quite average to Lucas’s expectations. It was quite similar to his own, much nicer and richer, but still, it was just a bunch of houses.
Lucas stretched lazily underneath the seat belt, his body aching due to having little to no time to rest properly. He was ready to lie down somewhere and regain himself, shower and sleep. Through droopy eyes, he glanced over at Cheren who seemed pretty relaxed, much more than how he was feeling.
“Are we almost at your house?” Lucas asked, glancing out the window.
“Yep, it’s just down the street. You’re going to love it. It’s bigger than yours.” A grin slipped onto Cheren’s face as they turned a corner.
“No fair. I guess that’s cool though.”
“Yeah, it is. You know, I considered buying a pool but it would be a waste since I hate swimming.”
“I know, you told me already.” Lucas closed his eyes, allowing his mentor to ramble on. He wasn’t really feeling homesick yet, but the creeping anxiety of being inside Cheren’s actual house got to him. It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling, but it felt so weird to be away from his own home and in someone’s else's for an entire month. He opened them again as he felt them back into a driveway.
“We’re here!” Cheren squeaked as he put the car into park. He leaned over to Lucas with a bright grin, his goofy smile underneath his glasses never failing to make Lucas’s heart flutter. “We can grab your stuff in a second...actually I’ll have Dean come and get it. Come on!”
His lanky friend quickly jumped out of the car, leaving Lucas scurrying behind, stumbling over the steps to the house. Cheren wasn’t kidding about having a big house; it was someone that you’d see in sitcoms where the main family would live: a huge complex house with a historical sort of structure, screaming “family-friendly” from it’s appearance. It whafted Lucas with comfort that his own home provided him, allowing him to immediately relax as he stepped onto the porch.
This isn’t that bad. He smiled brightly, standing behind Cheren as he searched his many keys to unlock the door. He was taking a while, which gave Lucas time to look around at the area.
“Oh...for fucks sake! DEAN. OPEN THE DOOR!” Cheren’s sudden yell snapped him out of his curious thoughts, making him flinch as Cheren banged on the door. He surely wasn’t any different from what he presented himself to be back in his home state, though it was noticeable that he was much more outgoing and louder here. He’d never heard Cheren yell before.
The two of them stood there for a minute before the door opened, revealing a taller man with long black braids, glaring tiredly down at the two of them.
“Don’t you have your fuckin’ key, man?”
“Yeah, but I can’t find it. Anyways...we’re here! So get the fuck out the way.” Cheren shoved Dean away from the doorway, tugging Lucas behind him clumsily. He tripped over the doormat a couple of times before Cheren caught him and held him in place.
This is so embarrassing already. Lucas wanted to hide his face as he gathered his footing, knowing that Cheren’s friend’s eyes were burning into the back of his head. He probably thinks I’m slow.
“That’s Lucas?” Dean’s voice rattled his ears, causing him to turn his head nervously to stare up at the older man. He had to be in his mid-twenties, maybe younger, maybe even older, but he was quite stocky and well built; there was a subtle shine against his dark skin tone followed by the dimness of his brown eyes.
“Yeah. Isn’t he cute?” Cheren suddenly swung his arms over Lucas’s shoulders, causing him to squeak as he went to nibble on his ear. Blushing, he turned away, not wanting to face Dean as Cheren nuzzled him. It felt wrong to show affection in front of a stranger, he hadn’t had to chance to even introduce himself first. He had already fallen like an idiot, and now was being kissed all over before being able to even say hi.
“Oh. I thought he was taller.” Dean’s voice was pretty flat, though hinted with amusement as he leaned against the wall.
“Nope, he’s still short. He’s gonna be tall as hell, though, believe me. I mean you should see the siz-
“I need to pee.” Lucas interrupted them, his face burning.
I need to get away.
“Oh, I forgot you had to. There are 3 bathrooms, one is upstairs, then there’s one near the kitchen, and there's one in the basement. Just go down the hallway and it should be to the left.” Cheren lifted off of Lucas, allowing him to scurry off without a word. Granted, he did have to go, but he felt much too overwhelmed at the moment to be around either Dean or Cheren; he just needed a quick break to regain himself.
Closing the bathroom door, he sighed heavily, leaning against it for a moment. With a quick moment to observe, Cheren’s house was pretty neat, literally. Maybe a shirt or two laying around on the floor or a few crumbs, but overall it was quite nice with its modern stylistic choices. He hadn’t seen many homes organized the way it was; white walls, tiles, not much carpet other than his living room. He had a couple of TVs scattered about, which was weird, and notably he recognized that there were gaming systems laying around too.
He sighed, reminding himself that he’d only be hanging around Cheren, Dean, and probably a couple of other guys they knew. They would be fine. Cheren would make sure they wouldn’t pick on him. Lucas finished his business and washed his hands, feeling much more relaxed with the quietness of the bathroom. As he dried his hands on his jeans, there was subtle shuffling as he reached for the doorknob, leaving him squeaking as a figure darted away once he creaked the door open.
...Was that a person?
He could still hear Dean and Cheren talking about him from the front of the house, so it couldn’t be them.
Does Cheren have a dog or something?
He walked out the bathroom and closed the door slowly, looking up and down the hallway before meeting a single, wide eye from down the corridor. Lucas stood still, seeing the figure standing in the darkness of the unlit hallway.
Who is that?
“Cheren?” Lucas called out weakly, stepping toward the living room, not allowing his back to face the non-blinking figure. He’d only been in the house for 5 minutes and was already weirded out.
“What?” Cheren called back.
“T-T-There’s someone in your house!”
“...Wait, is Kayden upstairs? Oh. KAYDEN, COME HERE.”
Cheren’s yell seemed to tense the figure from the darkness, causing them to flinch and shrink in place. Lucas squinted uncomfortably before running to the front of the house. He didn’t want to see what would come out, he’d already dealt with that when he found Barry.
He scurried to Cheren’s side, staring as whatever it was approached them.
From the hallway sprouted a teenager, about the age of Lucas but maybe a year or two older. They poked their head out awkwardly, a head of long black, straight, uneven hair covering an eye and majority of their face. They reminded Lucas of the young girl from The Ring, which was enough to send a shiver down his spine. They were pretty skinny for how much their shirt and pants hung off their limbs. Lucas glanced to Cheren, confused.
“Who’s that?”
“That’s just Kayden.” Dean retorted, heading to the couch to take a seat.
Lucas stared at the kid for a second, who watched him silently. “They’re….they’re actually alive right?”
Cheren, who seemed frustrated, looked down at him before sputtering into laughter. Dean couldn’t help but let out a chuckle too.
“You think Kayden is a ghost or something?! Holy shit!” Cheren cackled, leaving Lucas’s face growing hot. “He’s just as alive as you are, he’s just weird as hell. Don’t worry about him. He’s not even supposed to be up here.”
“O-Oh. Uh…” Lucas looked to his feet momentarily, the stare of the kid still burning into him. “Okay.”
Cheren never mentioned him before.
“Are you going to say hi or not, Kayden?” Cheren’s voice became stern as he spoke to the kid, startling Lucas.
The boy stood there, tensing up before shrugging awkwardly. He opened his mouth for a second but nothing came out.
“Then go back downstairs.”
“I-.....I’m hungry.”
“Go downstairs.”
The boy nodded and scurried off. Lucas watched him, curiosity boiling in his chest.
“Dean, you didn’t feed him?” Cheren turned to him, he was clearly annoyed.
“I did, I mean I told him to heat up the leftovers but I don’t know if he did or not. I was asleep until you started banging on the door. He’s been super weird lately.”
“Ugh...can you help Lucas get his bags out the car? I’m going to go talk to him.”
Dean gave a thumbs up and headed out the house, Lucas following behind, lost in thought.
Once the trunk was open, Lucas found the time to talk.
“Hey Dean, you’re Cheren’s roommate, right?” He looked up at the man who took the 2 bags under his arms. Dean looked down at him tiredly and nodded with a soft smile.
“Yeah. Been livin’ together since we left college.”
“Are you his boyfriend, too?”
“Nah, I ain’t into Cheren like that. This is all of your stuff, right?”
Lucas nodded nervously. “Is that boy in there his boyfriend?”
“You mean Kayden? Naw man, he’s just a homeless kid we keep around. Jeez, you’re real worried about him finding someone else, aren’t you?”
Lucas felt his skin grow hot at the claim, shaking his head nervously in attempt to disregard the thought.
“N-no! I was just wondering. I don’t really care if he does, but I just wanted to know…”
“I think Cheren is pretty into you, if that’s what you’re worrying about.” Dean kicked the door open, allowing Lucas to walk in first before shutting it. He lead him upstairs and chucked the two bags off into the furthest room down the hallway. The house seemed to have at least 3 or 4 bedrooms, maybe even 5 from what Lucas was seeing.
“This is Cheren’s room, right?” Lucas could already tell by the red tie laying on the floor.
“Yep, he said you’ll be sleepin’ in here with him for the summer. I’ll set your stuff in the closet, alright? Just so you know, my room is the closest to the stairs, and there's an empty room in the middle which we use for the TV sometimes.” Dean was setting down his stuff as Lucas climbed onto the huge bed. “I work at night so you probably won’t see me much since I sleep through the day.”
“That’s cool. Could I play your games?”
“Huh? Oh, I don’t give a shit. As long as you don’t break anything.” Dean stood up and brushed his locs from his face. “Cheren said you’re pretty decent around stuff like that, so I trust you.”
“Yeah, I have a couple of systems back at home.” He twisted his legs and buried his face into the comforter which covered the bed. It smelled a lot like his mentor; faint, but it was there.
“Well, I’ll be downstairs. I’ll have to head out soon, but I know Cheren wanted me to meet you at least. Enjoy your stay.”
Lucas looked to Dean before waving goodbye as he retreated down the stairs.
Rolling onto his back, Lucas stared up at the ceiling of the room as he rested his hands on his stomach. He inhaled slowly before kicking off his shoes to allow himself to get comfortable. Now that he was settled into Cheren’s house, it felt completely different, certainly something different than what he’d known before.
I’m so far from home.
...
This is really cool.
He glanced around the room to observe Cheren’s way of life. There wasn’t much laying around other than clothing items and a game case or two. Just a bottle of eyeglass cleaner and a beer can. There was just a bed, 2 dressers, a computer and a chair in his room; barely anything to really give Lucas a sense of some sort of hidden personality Cheren could have, which was disappointing. He had expected Cheren to have a room covered with posters or something, similar to his own.
Well, he is kinda older. I guess you get boring when you’re old.
Lucas made a quick promise to himself to never give up the idea of covering his room with the things he admired, he didn’t want to become as stale as this.
His observing was interrupted as a familiar weight slammed into his back, leaving his squeaking and sprawling out. Wincing, he turned his head to face Cheren’s toothy grin.
“You like my room, huh?” He asked, pulling Lucas close to his chest. Lucas nodded, blushing as the two of them sat up.
“Yeah, but it’s super boring. You have nothing in here.”
“Well, that’s because I’m gone most of the time. Should I have more stuff in here?”
“...I dunno. I like to have a lot in my room, I guess. Your blanket is really soft though.”
Cheren sat back, crossing his legs a bit. “It’s one of my favorites. Aren’t you glad you’re gonna be able to use it?”
Lucas nodded sheepishly. “We’re sharing the bed like at the hotel, right?”
“Yep. You know, we can do anything now? Like, it doesn’t matter. It’s my house, my rules.”
“I-I know.” Lucas smiled at Cheren, seeing how excited he was. He clearly had been waiting for this freedom for a long time, considering how often he spoke about it.
Lucas had known Cheren for at least two years now, first meeting him when he started 6th grade due to falling behind in class. He became Lucas’s mentor to reteach him math lessons he failed to keep up with, Cheren being the person his teachers suggested that would be able to give him a hand. No one else at the school had the time or patience to really sit down with the boy and help him out, so it was sheer luck a new student teacher was majoring in the subject when he started middle school. Their relationship started simple, clearly nothing along the lines of what it currently was. It had only evolved when Cheren realized how offstandish Lucas turned out to be.
“You don’t like to play with the other kids, do you?” Cheren had asked one school day as he approached him during break time. Everyone had finished their test and were allowed to hang out and roam the halls. As the room cleared out, Lucas remained in his seat, his sketchbook in his lap and his head down. He only raised it to meet Cheren’s concerned eyes.
“No. They think I’m bad at playing.” Lucas replied.
“How the hell can you be bad at playing?”
Lucas always admired the fact Cheren didn’t give a shit about the no swearing rule the school had intact, or any rule the school had for the matter. When they would study, he’d smoke and swear up a storm, gossiping about his old students or co-workers, telling Lucas some of their dirtiest secrets and other miscellaneous things a kid his age definitely shouldn’t be hearing about. Cheren was always open and genuine with Lucas, which was comforting since he had virtually no one else other than his mother at the time. He’d always made it clear that they were best friends and he saw Lucas as more than just a slow student and would always be there for him.
He was the first person to treat him that way.
“I don’t know. They said I’m too girly.”
“Seriously? If it makes you feel any better, I got that alot as a kid too.”
“Really?”
Cheren nodded, taking a seat in the desk beside him, leaning over to meet his face.
“Yep. Said I was ‘too weird’ and shit. There’s not anything wrong with being girly though. It’s cool.”
“Well, that’s not what everyone else thinks.”
“Fuck what they think. I think it’s cool.”
And since then, the two of them have been pretty close. Cheren began spending more casual time with Lucas, allowing him to talk and ramble about whatever was on his mind. He was given the chance to say things that bothered him and not be judged for it, which was neat and new. It was different than how he would talk with his mother because Cheren allowed him to say anything and everything and encouraged it. His mentor would sneak him snacks or McDonads during school and practically spoiled him, causing his peers to be jealous in their relationship. Their study sessions became hang out sessions where the two would convince his mother they were heading to the library to work while in reality they were off to a mall or off to roam.
As their relationship strengthened and Lucas opened up more, his sexuality became a new point of interest for Cheren due to him slipping positive comments at the shows they’d watch. And with this, a new arc unfolded for the two since Cheren proposed the idea that they should step it up with the whole “love” deal.
Cheren tried everything to convince Lucas that his attraction was okay, yet he couldn’t help but feel dread in who he was. It had always been made clear to him that being attracted to other boys wasn’t something accepted. He was a mixed kid with weird parents who didn’t fit in, he looked and acted funny, so being gay on top of all of it really wasn’t helping his situation. Granted, he still found himself attracted to girls, but it wasn’t enough to ensure that he was acceptable in that matter, probably even worse since he couldn’t make up his mind. He simply tried to put off the idea of it and viewed it as something that shouldn’t matter since he wasn’t attractive enough to have anyone love him anyways; since no one liked him, no one would find out he was gay, so he’d be fine. But Cheren refused to let that pass and immediately shattered that thought with a simple kiss. He swore to Lucas he’d be there for him and would protect him, telling him to embrace who he was with him, if not with anyone else.
“We’re just alike, you know? It’s alright.”
Cheren rested his head onto Lucas’s stomach, snapping him his memories instantly. He stared down at him, his heart growing tight as his mentor caressed his leg.
“Are you tired?” Cheren asked without looking up.
“No.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucas shot up from his comfort of the couch cushions the second he heard the door slam, leaving him in a tight bubble of confusion before it popped as he remembered where he was.
He was in the living room, sprawled on the couch with a blanket half covering his body. He groaned, wiping his eyes as he adjusted to his surroundings. He was still at Cheren’s, obviously.
He had told himself to only take a ten minute nap, but as he peeked out the window, he could see that the sky was warm, shifting into it’s deep dusky colors. Dean must have left out the door for work, which was what had shook him from his slumber. He hopped off the couch, scratching his side as he headed toward the kitchen.
He’d been in Michigan for a good two weeks now, meaning his return home would be soon by what his mother mentioned over the phone, and within the two weeks, he had already developed a routine with each day he stayed.
He’d wake up (usually to the sound of Dean opening the door which meant he was home from his night shift), go shower if he could, grab a bite to eat, play video games, pass out for a while, and repeat with the food and game shenanigans until he fell asleep until the next day. It wasn’t very different from his rituals he practiced at home, but being at Cheren’s, there was a little spice to every little thing he did. Cheren found the need to accompany him with the majority of his activities, whether that be getting dressed or watching TV, and even to take a piss. It bothered Lucas since he almost never got the chance to just do something on his own, which he preferred, but it was Cheren’s house so he accepted his closeness. There was a chance he’d never be able to be this close to him again anytime soon, so he figured he should enjoy it.
Throughout the duration of his stay, he had only left Cheren’s house once and he was barely allowed farther than the backyard. His mentor stressed and insisted he’d stay in and bribed him enough to sit tight whenever he left the house and when Dean would leave for work, meaning Lucas was often left home alone. Well, somewhat alone considering Kayden was still there, but his presence was good as nothing considering the boy would never come upstairs or acknowledge him.
Lucas approached him a few times out of curiosity, trying to get some sort of sign of life out of him. He’d never seen someone so pitiful, someone even worse than him ever in his life, which gave him comfort that he wasn’t that much shitty of a kid. He couldn’t be as bad as this.
Kayden would always look at him with this terrified expression, his one uncovered eye wide as if Lucas were a beast rushing to rip him apart. He’d always open his mouth as if he’d speak, but never did so and would usually dart off back down to the basement before Lucas could even call out to him.
Upon reaching the kitchen, he saw Kayden rushing back toward the basement door, trying to open it in time to hide away.
Rolling his eyes, Lucas waved lazily.
“It’s just me. You can stay up here if you want.”
The scrawny boy froze before turning slowly to face Lucas, his face reddened as he glanced around.
“...just you?” He squeaked out.
Lucas nodded, not looking at him. It was awkward to hear Kayden’s voice; it was much deeper than his own, but it was so hushed to the point he almost had to ask the boy to repeat what he said, sort of similar to how low he’d set his TV volume at night.
“...okay.” Kayden let go of the doorknob with a sigh and quickly walked off into the living room, not giving Lucas a second to say anything.
“What are you doing?” Lucas followed behind him, peeking his head around to look at Kayden’s face. He was obviously uncomfortable with Lucas being close, so he gave the boy distance. Kayden was still a mystery to Lucas, since Dean and Cheren avoided talking about him casually. He only knew from what he observed that he had to be some sort of mute kid. He was pale and it seemed like he cut his own hair at one point due to the uneven split ends, and it must have been a long time since that occurred since it extended to his shoulder blades. He also found it safe to assume he was also gay, considering he’d often spot Cheren making out with him from the stairs of the basement.
It irritated Lucas to see Cheren engaging with Kayden with more than just kissing, but he pushed it aside since Cheren made it clear that Lucas wasn’t his only partner. He’d seen Cheren engage with Dean, and occasionally heard Cheren mention other people, speaking of them in a dirty manner. The days Cheren would leave out for hours before arriving back to the house without even bothering to give Lucas an ounce of affection had to the days he met with his other partners. He hadn’t realized how busy Cheren was before he got to Michigan and did everything he could to respect that.
He just hated how easily he accepted this. It wasn’t fair, but Lucas couldn’t tell him that because he “was still just a kid”. He had no right to dictate his mentor’s love life since they shouldn’t have been dating in the first place. Cheren told Lucas before that his other partners were girls to cover up the fact he was gay so no one would bother him, but it surely didn’t seem like that was the case from what Lucas was seeing. Cheren had only mentioned one girl’s name and he barely sounded interested in what he was telling Dean.
Liar.
“I-I-I’m just going to watch TV?” Kayden looked down at Lucas, his voice stuttering. “I-Is that alri-right?”
“Oh, yeah. I don’t care if you do.”
“Okay.” The boy sat on the couch awkwardly, staring at the blank TV. Lucas watched him uncomfortably before grabbing the remote and turning it on to Cartoon Network, since it was all he could think of that’d be showing a decent show around this time.
The two of them sat in silence for a while before Lucas decided to speak up, considering this was the perfect opportunity to learn about him.
“You’ve never said hi to me, before.” Lucas muttered, startling Kayden from the comfort of the cushion. The boy tensed up before glancing over at Lucas.
“S-Sorry.”
“It’s fine, I guess we can say hi now.”
“Y-Yeah.”
“...hi.”
“Hi.”
There was a short silence.
“How long have you lived here with Cheren?” Lucas looked at him.
“...” Kayden lifted up a hand in silence, stretching out his fingers.
“Five years?”
He nodded quickly before shrugging.
“Oh. How old are you?”
Kayden looked at Lucas, his eye wide with sudden fear. The question seemed to terrify the shit out of him. Lucas stared back, shrinking into the couch at his expression.
“I don’t know.”
“How don’t you know how old you are?” Lucas gaped to hear such a reply.
“I...I don’t know. I...I think I’m 15.”
“Are you stupid or something?”
Kayden looked down at his lap and shrugged with a frown.
“Cheren said you were ‘retarded’ but I didn’t think he was serious when he said that.”
Kayden stared at him the second he spoke the word, his already terrified expression drooping into something even more pitiful.
“I-I-I’m not r-retarded.”
“But...you don’t know how old you are. Even I know how old I am, and I’m younger than you and I suck ass at math.”
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I...” Kayden went silent before staring off at the wall, no longer focusing on the TV or anything for the matter.
Lucas scoffed, sitting back.
I’ve got nothing to worry about.
There was no way Cheren would abandon Lucas to keep someone so stupid around, it started to make sense why Cheren always spoke poorly about Kayden. He was so jittery and timid, worse than the stray dogs he’d find on the streets searching for food. He was shaking where he sat despite their conversation only being a few sentences long.
“So...what do you do down in the basement all the time? You never come up here.” Lucas wasn’t fond of the awkward silence, the current cartoon failing to keep him entertained.
“Ch-Cheren doesn’t let me come up here alot, so I just sl-sleep.”
“Really?”
Kayden nodded.
“Wow. He really hates you.” Lucas smirked.
“...”
“He lets me do anything and I get to sleep in his bed and you have to sleep downstairs alone.”
“...It’s...okay downstairs.”
“Isn’t it cold?”
Kayden shrugged and shook his head.
“I h-have a nice...blanket.”
“You don’t have a Gameboy or anything? You just sleep?”
“W-w-Well I eat...and use the bathroom…and sometimes Cheren comes down to see me…”
“That’s lame. Where did you even come from? Cheren never talked about you before and Dean said you were a homeless kid they found.”
Kayden frowned, twiddling his fingers in his lap. He looked away, not answering Lucas’s question.
After a minute of silence, Lucas glared at him for a moment before noticing his distressed expression.
“You don’t want to talk about it?” Lucas asked.
Kayden shook his head weakly, shifting his sitting position, lying awkwardly like a stick against the arm-rest. Lucas let out a soft sigh, the information he got from him was enough to satisfy the curiosity that’d been boiling in him for a couple of days. He respected Kayden’s wish for silence considering the face he made after Lucas questioned him; it was quite similar to the one Ariana would make whenever he’d mention her father or mother’s anger, a face he’d make when he’d go to school.
It’s got nothin’ to do with me, then.
He was just tired of being stuck with his own thoughts. It was nice to finally talk to Kayden a bit and get the reassurance that he wasn’t falling below Cheren’s standards.
The two of them sat in silence before the front door’s knob twisted with the sound of keys. The noise must have scared the shit out of Kayden with the way he jumped up, frantically glancing around as if he were scouting a place to hide. Lucas watched him before placing his hand on his shoulder.
“Dude. It’s just Cheren.”
“O-Oh.” Kayden shrunk back into the cushion, staring at the TV blankly, trembling as the door swung open. Cheren walked in, hair messy, carrying his jacket over his arm as he shut the door with his foot. He looked to the two boys beofre a smile settled on his face.
“I didn’t expect to be gone that long, had to deliver something to a friend. Have you two been hanging out?” Was the first thing he said as he kicked his shoes off. Kayden shrunk into the cushion as Lucas nodded.
“Yeah. He was wandering around so I wanted to say hi and stuff.”
“Seriously? Well, shit!” Cheren plopped down on the couch between the both of them, nearly crushing Kayden. Lucas smiled weakly as Cheren tossed his arm over his shoulder as everyone adjusted their seating. “That’s definitely something new. Kayden never talks to anyone other than like, three people. He barely talks to me anymore.”
Kayden opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“Well, he talked to me for a while. It wasn’t a lot, but he talks.”
“Huh. That’s not fair.” He looked to Kayden, the TV screen reflecting off his glasses. “So I take it that you’re still giving me the silent treatment. What the fuck did I do wrong? I’ve been very nice to you lately, Kay.”
Kayden shook his head shrugging, looking down into his lap in silence.
Cheren leaned closer into Kayden’s face, his nose brushing against the boy’s cheek. Lucas watched, growing increasingly uncomfortable as he tried to focus on the TV.
Does he really have to do that here?
“Are you mad because I haven’t taken you to see Nat?” Cheren breathed.
Kayden looked Cheren in the eye, his body tensing at the mention of the name. Lucas couldn’t help but eavesdrop considering they were right next to him, though he had heard Cheren mention the name before. It was the girl Cheren spoke about before to Dean. With the context of their conversation, he slowly began to piece together what it was actually about.
Huh.
Cheren snickered, pulling back slightly. “God, you’re so cute. I’ll take you over to her house tomorrow, okay? We need you there anyways so it works out. I told you to be patient about this last week. She’s not going anywhere.”
“P-promise?”
“Yeah. I promise. Now can you stop giving me the silent treatment? It’s been pissing me off.”
Kayden nodded quickly and smiled, meeting Cheren’s eye. Lucas squirmed as Cheren advanced on him, clearly satisfied with the answer he got. He cared very little for the fact Lucas was still in the presence, caressing Kayden before pressing onto him for a kiss, which lasted quite a while, long enough to make Lucas construct an excuse to get away. Climbing over the two of them, Lucas stumbled to the bathroom quickly.
He stood there in silence, staring off into the mirror as he gathered his thoughts.
...He doesn’t mean it.
Cheren didn’t really like Kayden, at least that’s what Dean told him. He had listened to Cheren call the boy a “parasite” and a “piece of shit”, so they couldn’t really like each other, at least not in the way Cheren liked him.
Cheren constantly told him that “he was his favorite” and “he’d do anything for him”, so it shouldn’t matter that he kissed a few other people.
Or should it?
Whatever.
His stomach churned as he turned on the sink, allowing the cold water to seep through his fingers. He wanted to waste as much time as he could to prevent going back and still seeing the two of them making out, which had the chances of escalating further. It had before and Lucas wasn’t fond of being there when it did.
I should call mom again.
It’d been awhile since he did so. He suddenly began wondering how she was doing without him.
She probably misses me.
It was unfortunate that Lucas would probably go back home without any proper souvenirs, but it was alright since she planned to visit the state anyways in the upcoming years.
He turned the water hot, glancing at his reflection. His eyes were dark and he noticed marks and bruises dotting his collarbone and chest. Running his wet hand along them, he winced weakly at the tenderness of his skin. To add onto the discomfort, his stomach grumbled considering he hadn’t eaten yet, spurring his thoughts of his mother’s hearty meals she’d prepare each night. Being at Cheren’s, each day usually consisted of either fast food, pizza, a bag of chips or sometimes nothing since Cheren would leave the entire day and bring nothing back except alcohol which he’d resort to drinking since the tap water tasted like ass. His eyes involuntarily watered before he wiped his face, suppressing a whimper.
I miss her.
...
I want to go home.
Things were much more fun when he didn’t see into Cheren’s life everyday. This definitely wasn’t for him, and being a part of it wasn’t really fun either. He wanted to be able to sleep in his own bed alone, go to the store with his mom and even play with Ariana and Barry instead of creeping around the house on eggshells, hoping he wouldn’t walk in on Cheren doing weird shit and be asked to join him.
It was no longer about Lucas being able to enjoy himself with his mentor, rather it was his mentor enjoying his life with Lucas just being a bonus. He no longer felt special around him, leaving him feeling empty in his presence. He preferred to feel like this in the comfort of his own house under his blanket alone.
The viaduct, if any place.
Lucas turned off the water and shook his hands off lazily, rubbing them on the legs of his sweatpants before opening the bathroom door back up and heading back to the living room.
It wouldn’t hurt to call her tomorrow and have her come pick him up. She told him he could come home anytime he wanted, and no one was forcing him to stay. There was no point in staying if Cheren had other people more important than him.