CURSED

a retconned novel from 2018-2019, following the making of Cursedlocke before being repurposed for Furrealife!.

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Between the summer of 2018 to 2019, I wrote a fucked up 8+ chapters for a novel I called Cursed. I wrote this at a wild speed for weeks before I crashed and burned. It is really fucking funny in hindsight how this was created.

This series is a trip. I often look back on it and I don't think itll ever truly leave my heart because: it was where it was clear I (Lucas) and the others were more than just OCs, and we still feel like the story beats are effective (thus have been repurposed between Nuzlock'd, Shattered and Furrealife!). I kinda (kinda) cooked here, but really wasn't sure that making it past this was a good idea in the long term.

Background

I was writing this in highschool. I started its production around August/September of 2018 and stopped writing and making any art related to it in about 2019 since that's when I went AWOL overall due to psychosis. A big reason for curbing its writing was the way witchhunting exploded in popularity at the time in the communities I was in, and I was NOT trying about to fuck around and find out with given all the other stress I had and my increasing visibility online (it was my kyrisuz era). I was homeless for a period of time and it was also timeframe my mom's disability had become life threatening until she went in for the corrective surgery (everything revolving this fucked me up so bad mentally). Things were chaotic as fuck and I was downing cough syrup I stole from pantries I helped out at to get food to eat, popping NSAIDs regularly to "lessen emotional pain" (Id actually thought it'd work after reading about it on google) and ditching school due to me not being able to handle my mental illness going haywire. Suffering does make for interesting things. I used to daydream this series and various sense compulsively.

Cast Notes

It'll quickly become known that this cast is essentially the same cast as every other series I have, with some roles shifted. Like all other series, a headmate sharing a name with an OC should be seen as how an actor may play a character but still is their own person outside of the role - its fiction.

I want to give context about the character roles and how they evolved from this series given its connection to our system discovery.

Cursed predated Cursedlocke, and evolved into Furrealife!

Lucas "Alex" Alexander

Cursed!Lucas is the same character as Cursedlocke!Lucas, but when translated to Furrealife! would Ida the Curly Weasel. Technically, Ida is the intersection of Cursed!Lucas, Cursed!Kayden and Cheren all in one. The only similarities that Cursed!Lucas share with Furrealife!Lucas is the same parent dynamic and relationship with Ida. I hope this makes sense.

I feel so bad rereading this novel because he's like, really confused most of the time and gets treated like ass by everyone except for Ariana, who also gets treated like ass especially by him. Like, Lucas is very sensitive but dude I think it gets out of hand at some points. Also the way Cheren gaslit his ass to the moon and back was crazy work. The boy's curse was being overweight, gay and autstic LOL.

Ariana

Cursed!Ariana is more or less the same character as Cursedlocke!Ariana. When translated into Furrealife!, Ariana would be both Lucas the Bunkitty and Astria the Pitbull.

Cursed!Ariana shares the same family dynamic and personality as Astria the Pitbull, but when it comes to growing up, Cursed!Ariana's story is that of Lucas the Bunkitty. Minus the dead parent. The dead dad is isolated to Cursed!Ariana. Ariana was not a self-insert despite sharing physical appearance, mannerisms, lines of thinking and mother/daughter dynamic. When placed beside Astria, Ariana is very much an OC that could be mistaken for the self-insert while Astria is the self-insert mistaken for an OC.

Her friendship with Lucas is so god damn cute in this novel. It literally makes me cry. In no other series is this kind of dynamic captured this way so I think its a huge part of why I hold onto this series.

Barry

Cursed!Barry has a similar personality that is present across all series, but Cursed is the only series where his backstory is unique and he doesn't have a serious relationship with Ariana. He took on a more younger brother role.

This is probably the most flanderized Barry in terms of him just being a Creature. He just is a little weird demon guy that was supposed to offset the vibes of the reality of whats going on. This series could exist without him, and if I wrote what I actually wanted to write, it would infact have existed without him.

Cheren

The can of worms. Cheren was the same character as Cursedlocke and Pearlocke writing of Cheren, having the same history with Lucas - being his abuser. His dynamic with Lucas is pretty similar to Galactic Arc Barry and Ariana from Cursedlocke. When translated into Furrealife!, Cheren would be both Ida the Curly Weasel and Peter the Tasmanian Devil.

I say both Ida and Peter due to the fact the overall dynamic is the same between Ida and Furrealife!Lucas, but murder plot point is something carried from this series for Peter's backstory. A lot of the naseuating moments between Cursed!Lucas, Cheren, Kayden, Natalie and Cody during the Kidnapping Arc were those that mirror that of Ida's household in Furrealife! Especially in the way both Cused!Lucas and Ida Rivera were encouraged to partake in the assault of others.

The way I wrote Cheren is bizarre he seems incredibly manic from Chapter 4-5, which I mean, yeah. I guess. Writing him was weird because as much as I hate his character, I think had I wrote scenes with Cody, it would have humanized him a lot compared to what I did write because so much of his behavior mirrors Cody's, and he would show a lot of fear when Cody was around. Like, both Cheren and Cody are pedophiles, but the difference between how they went about it was Incredibly um Clear. Take how Cheren acts and add in sadism and then theres Cody. So much of the series was like a chain reaction of abuse with no real action to stop it until theres death. Super fucked up! In a lot of ways, I'm glad I didn't proceed with exploring them because well, I was 16 in September 2018 when I wrote the different versions of Chapter 5.

Others

The Inspiration

Honestly, this way of writing would have never came to be had I never wandered around my highschool's library and picked up 33 Snowfish by Adam Rapp off the shelves. The book is instrumental why I write and depict things as they are without it always being from a perfect victim point of view but still giving them a chance to grow. Besides the sensitive topics explored with no filter, I think the fact this books location was eerily familiar to me, like places I know being mentioned. It was really cool going in blind to the book and reading names of areas I know.

The Story itself

Cursed was really just Lucas's backstory as a book. It was just in-depth character exploration. I don't think I truly aimed to make a point other showcase the damaging dynamics that can exist with a child and an adult, and then trying to heal from trauma while still actively having everything repeat in a sense. The subplot with Barry being a demon on Earth was very much a red herring, bro just existed to exist because I had to keep the trio intact.

This book was gonna extend all the way to the point Lucas and Ariana move in together and have a kid and learn to grow past their tramua. It was gonna be an entire highschool Lucas x Eli hatefucking arc. I was gonna cook too hard so I got nerfed (mentally ill).

The Unwritten Arc

So, of what I have archived, there was a full arc I started to write detailing the events of what transpired during the Summer of 200X in "Michigan", the summer Cheren kidnapped Lucas. This entire arc could be its own story I honestly translated a lot of the energy of it into PMD: Riches and Repentance. I ended up axing the depth of this arc for something more palatable and unexplored because, yeah LOL. Its still fucked up though. This is version that was watered down and considered official, but still omitted because I was worried it was too epic: click to read. Huge warning for the way Lucas is galist to hell and back in this chapter.

Below is the summary of what the actual unfiltered arc was, which you can see the beginning of its formation in this unpublished, unedited draft here. Major warnings for the fact the situation is really disgusting!

Cheren brings Lucas to his house after telling Akira its just for the summer, which he shares with his roommate, Dean. His roommate turned a blind eye about knowing that Cheren was fucking Lucas given Cheren already had his younger brother essentially rotting in the house.

It isn't very long before Lucas realizes he's probably never seeing his mom again due to how often Cheren was insulting him, keeping him having proper conversations with his mom on the phone alone, and ignoring his cries for breaks when they'd have sex.

Lucas knew of Kayden when they first arrived and seen him occasionally in the house, but ignored him and had a bit of a grudge because he thought Kayden was weird and would try to make Cheren hate him since Cheren would rape Kayden in front of Lucas (which Cheren would do to make Lucas jealous).

Lucas had no idea Kayden was his little brother until Cheren and Lucas fought, making Cheren pissed off enough to leave him isolated with Kayden and the two properly speaking. When Lucas realized this, his hate for Kayden faded and they began to plan a runaway.

Lucas becoming less interested and defiant is what triggered a lot of Cheren's absurd behavior and awful decisions, and eventual graphic murder of Cody. Cody was a family's friend and Cheren's abuser. Cheren dropped off Kayden with Cody when Cheren spent most of his days avoiding Cody by hanging out with the Alexanders, which indebted Cheren to Cody since he kept Kayden alive (it was just his way out of being Cody's victim anymore). Over the years, Cody would film Kayden and his biological daughter, Natalie. Natalie's mother is dead and was the child of a girl Cody abused.

So, after Cheren starts dropping off Lucas and Kayden with Cody in frantic attempts to not only get Akira off his tail about Lucas's whereabouts, but also try to get Natalie to better health as she became incredibly ill after miscarrying (father could have been Cheren, Kayden or Cody), Lucas gets tortured as a powertrip on Cheren, since Cheren was starting to stand up to Cody for treating them like animals. Cody ends up retaliating on Cheren for thinking his words matter by raping Lucas. Between finding out Cody raped Lucas and sold Natalie off in her decrepit state is why Cheren ends up shooting Cody multiple times, smashes his skull in with power tools and then trashes an entire kitchen on his corpse. He ends up picking up Kayden and Lucas, completely drenched in blood and brain matter, drops them off at the local mall and then drives into a river (which he ends up being rescued from to be arrested). The big moment here is the fact Lucas realizes he's in his hometown's mall and not some random area in Michigan, meaning the entire time they were very close to home. Its actually Veronica who picks up Lucas and Kayden and tells Kiki. Kayden is able to return to reuinite with his mother, Luicielle, and the missing child case is solved.

Read Cursed

Here is where you can read the original chapters in their glory (barely edited. I did have one person beta reading these at the time and I take psychic damage at times remembering this since they see how mentally ill i am now).

THEY ARE PRODUCTS OF THEIR TIME!!! AND LIKE...Lucas is a kid here! lol The CWs on each page should give you enough warning. Overall, be aware that its a lot of icky stuff made out to be normal here because the POV!

  • Timeskip short - Insomnia and Infomercials (very NSFW)

    • Archived Animations

    heres all the old animations i made for this series! lol

    sike ass ill add it later im so tired chief